Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Someone came in the potted fern
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
