You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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