my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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