At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
