i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
