haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
