there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
