I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So many bounce houses so little time
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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