this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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