dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
