so explain again why im purple
no
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
