Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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