did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
This girl is more easily done than said...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
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