WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
