so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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