wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
