if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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