nut hugger
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
