she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
