Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
