i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
