I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
