maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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