Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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