dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
