I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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