used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
