Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
