dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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