party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
