nut hugger
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
