just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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