i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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