My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
