when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
