You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my shit smells like andre
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
