Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize