Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
