I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
