I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
