Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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