I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
