1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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