at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Two words: blizzard sex
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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