yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
