your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
