just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm just crazy horny about you
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
