9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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