He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
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You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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