I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize