I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
