Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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