using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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