I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize