That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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