white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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