I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Randomize