I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
