Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
