I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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