I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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