Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.

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(970): View more from Colorado

The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.

(352): View more from Florida

I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(479): View more from Arkansas

Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

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(845): View more from New York

We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."

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(563): View more from Iowa

I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom

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(408): View more from California

Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.

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