There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.