Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...